If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say- Zip It

Clever Girls- here is what you need to know. Mark Ingram is a sophomore from my home town, Flint, Michigan and he brought the first Heisman Trophy to Alabama. What this means to me? Jim Harbaugh’s guy didn’t win it- thus he did not make up for losing his opportunity to Vinny Testaverde. Tim Tebow won’t be the second player to win two Heisman Trophies (Archie Griffin 1974 and 1975). Colt McCoy (my personal favorite for this win) despite his immensely impressive record, will leave the University of Texas Longhorns without securing the Heisman. Suh is going to be a great Sunday player and is an impressive and well-spoken young man.

It is my hope for the Clever Guys entering the draft this year they take their humility and genuine love for the game with them to Sundays. The game, and all of professional athletics could sure use it. Well done- congratulations to all the finalists.

So, now, we look forward to the bowl season, I’ll have plenty to comment on in the coming weeks. But, I got to thinking about something over the weekend as I attended a few holiday parties. Cattiness. Is it my imagination or has it reached epic proportions?

This is what I think about cattiness. First of all, it’s remarkably unattractive. I couldn’t help standing, mouth agape as I watched cluster after cluster of women snarling and whispering about those about them. My advice to you is to turn that inward- every single negative word you are speaking of others speaks loudly of your lack of character. How ugly you look with that sneer on your face- it is as repellant as your harsh and unwelcoming words.

Sad is the woman whose amusement hinges on the criticism of others. It takes very little effort and energy to judge others and so very much of both to go out of your way to embrace someone new, to inquire about a woman other than yourself- to compliment someone obviously uncomfortable and put to rest fears of not belonging.

This might disappoint you, but Clever Girls have no respect for you, so your shallow opinions mean ABSOLUTELY nothing to anyone but your coven. You can be assured the second you go to the ladies room- you will be the target of their scorn and mockery.

Most men find cattiness a tremendous turn off. If it’s the first time they meet you, their mind is fast-forwarding to how you will act around the other “wives” or “girlfriends.” He will see you as tough to please and hard to get along with, which is likely the truth. The basic premise on this kind of behavior is: who are you to judge anyone else? Seriously. We all learned it in kindergarten: If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, zip it.

When you speak in a positive manner about people, even when they seem to be at their worst, it tells him you will always try to see the best in him, even when he’s at his worst. This is a source of reassurance going into a relationship- further, if anyone has cause to call you into question, he won’t hesitate to defend as he knows you don’t gossip or gain pleasure by knocking others.

OK, Clever Tribe- I am off to yoga. Can not wait to bring the FIRE. Tomorrow we are hitting the NHL!!!!! Can NOT wait.