Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Is He Listening?

Is he listening? Mmmm. It depends on what you are saying.

With men, what you say is as important as how you say it. Perhaps the reason you didn’t get that second date was because on the first one the poor bastard nearly slipped into a boredom-induced coma over dinner as you talked incessantly about work, why you switched manicurists or your sister’s divorce.

If he can’t work in his favorite topic – himself - no matter how gorgeous you are, you might be doomed. If his attempts to introduce his interests were met with a complete lack of knowledge and interest, you can count on not hearing from him again. If you are full-time hot, and part time borefest- it will catch up to you. Be advised, if you are full-time hot- he will still probably have sex with you- but you can count on little to no follow up outside of sex.

Why didn’t that guy from the party call? You were banking on it. Think back. Can you pinpoint the moment his eyes began to dart about as if looking for an exit? Was it while you were arguing with him about abortion, lecturing him on politics or unfurling your complicated family history? While TOO MUCH INFORMATION is an overused phrase, it is overused because TOO MANY PEOPLE SHARE TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

It doesn't matter whether he's your father, your brother, your date or your business associate- he does NOT want to hear about the fight you got into with your mother about your cousin's wedding- UNLESS, said fight occurred while you were driving a Ferrari Enzo on the 405 at rush hour in a high speed chase with LAPD after you tripled the speed limit on that quarter mile of unfettered pavement. Even then, you will want to keep the details of the argument to a minimum. Nor does he want to hear about that lovely play you and your BFF attended that afternoon- UNLESS, said play occurred on a stage in the sky and the characters were fighter jets. Get it?

Speak a man’s language and he will listen. How? Aren't you sick of all the "self-help" books that tell you what to STOP doing? What to STOP eating, drinking, and where to STOP going? I know I am. So, I am here to help you START doing, START experiencing, and START learning.

x

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Save the Girl Talk for the Girls

If He’s Just Not That Into You, have you ever wondered why?

In today’s beauty obsessed society, and with beauty just a few relatively “painless” surgeries away, the pressure is on to be more than just a pretty face. Now, we have to be interesting, charming, engaging, and well rounded. This should be easy though, right? In this climate, it is critical to be so very clever.

No matter who you are, what your age or marital status, you have experienced instances in which the man to whom you were speaking was not listening to you. There is a very simple explanation for this – you are not saying anything he wants to hear. Once this pattern is well established, when the man in your life is certain little of what you say is of interest, you can count on his hearing to become even more selective as time wears on. How can you break the pattern, or how can you avoid beginning this cycle?

This is where you breathe a big sigh of relief. I am not going to ask you to spend the equivalent of a year’s salary on fall’s must have looks or send you scrambling for the “perfect” red lipstick so you can emulate Hollywood’s new hot hipster, nor will I try to talk you into wearing slutty lingerie- but (insert sound of other Louboutin pump dropping) I will ask you to recognize this is not a passive exercise. It will require some effort and enthusiasm. To beat to death the good news/ bad news scenario- I will not ask you to change but I will ask you to grow.

The Clever Blog encourages women to break old habits, and to experience and become versed in new and exciting aspects of life, by embracing rather than categorically rejecting male-oriented subjects. If we can deepen the flavor and texture of who we are, we will become appealing to more palates. Dive into all things male, and several wonderful things may happen. You may develop some new hobbies, you might put yourself squarely in the path of men with the same interests, and, most significantly, you will be heard - at parties, get-togethers, on dates, in relationships and, most likely, decades into your marriage.

This blog will inform you enough to give you the confidence to try new things, to experience what appeals to men and gain the knowledge to converse with them intelligently. Market your actual value (who you are) by amplifying your perceived value (how you look).

Granted, this will not be pain free. Some of you would rather sip your next cocktail out of a used bedpan than to sit down and watch military movies or read up on sports arguments, but this is how we expand our knowledge base. Clever women are quick studies and will use their ingenuity to parlay the information put forth here into meaning full discussions with the opposite sex.

Save the girl talk for the girls and get busy changing the male initiative from scoring to exploring. Seriously, wouldn’t you rather have a man say he’d like to crawl inside your head than in your bed (assuming said man was not Julian McMahon from Nip/Tuck)?


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