For any of you who are under the misapprehension I am not a Girlie Girl, you are WRONG! I’m overwhelmed with desire at times for shoes and jeans- love make-up and big hair. However, I am a Clever Girlie Girl with a sense of occasion and know there is a time and place for my alter ego to emerge. That time and that place are NEVER going to be when I am with a guy (he is not concerned with how to identify a –GASP- fake Prada handbag) or while a man is waiting on me.
Two of my “gifts” and, well, claims to fame are thus- I have a quick turn around when I use the restroom out (and actually am capable of going alone when dining with couples) and (drum roll) from the time I get in the shower to the time I leave the house is under one half hour and … this includes washing hair, drying and styling. I have logged a personal best of 24 minutes, but am willing to acknowledge on that momentous day, I already knew what I was going to wear.
Why did I mention these "gifts"? Because they matter to MEN. How do I know this? My speed in the restroom is always commented on, and the men in my life (regardless of whether they are relatives or friends) are always pleasantly surprised and thankful when I am ready to walk out the door when they arrive- or actually beat them to our meeting place.
All that “sharing” to say this- it would seem a fair amount of Clever content is common sense, which I find to be an oxymoron since sense seems not to be common anymore. Or, perhaps Clever comprises uncommon sense. Should anyone really have to tell us it is rude to accept a phone call during a date? Should we need to be reminded it is not polite to text friends throughout a family dinner with our dad and brother? If you’ve ever returned from the restroom to find your date surrounded by women- you may have only yourself to blame- HOW LONG WERE YOU IN THERE?
Being considerate of the men in your life should be common sense- but why are men different than anyone else? Well, when you keep your friends waiting, they might try on your clothes, talk to you about that upcoming date or understand because they always keep you waiting- but most men do not take that extra ten minutes in the shower to deep condition and then a few here and a few there- it all adds up to him wondering (as he's pacing your living room concerned you will miss your reservation or the beginning of the movie) how important the evening is to you.
I understand- things happen, days go south, I am just asking that you manage the balance of the evening by giving him a heads up and an apology- which translates to you having a more relaxed stretch of time to ready yourself. This simple gesture can free up space for you to bask in the excitement of your upcoming date instead of racing around and keeping him waiting only to emerge half baked and pissed off.
If circumstances have conspired to keep from being ready on time, and he is picking you up- a Clever Girl would already have ascertained what he enjoyed drinking- have it prepared for him along with the remote and know which channels are FOX, CNN and ESPN. This will buy you some time.
Wow, wouldn't life be soooo much easier if all women lived by those two simple "gifts". Every guy I know, has to be on time. It is part of who we are. Most just shake their heads at the restroom party. Not annoying just silly.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous-
ReplyDeleteI am proud to be able to visit the restroom alone. I don't mind someone joining me as there are some restaurants where the path between the table and the facilities is a bit of a gauntlet.
I find it a measure of a man's interest in our engagement if he is timely- so it stands to reason he'd view my lateness as a measure of my interest. Measure for Measure.
As far as getting ready quickly- I am perpetually overbooked, I have no choice other than to keep someone waiting on me and that simply isn't an option.
Thank you for reading-
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I only think of one thing on this topic, Brad Paisley's song 'Waitin on a woman'. Even if you are an alternative person, check this out on youtube. If she is worth it, you WILL wait. I would...
ReplyDeleteB
B-
ReplyDeleteNo doubt, but how long is too long? To wait, I mean. I can understand waiting for your true love to come around, but waiting for forty minutes every time you pick your date up or meet her somewhere ... you'd really have to wonder where you rank on her priority list.
I know when a guy is perpetually late, I am left questioning his interest. It is a matter of common courtesy. We vote with time and being late constantly casts a heck of a vote.
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Clever Girl...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on bridging the gap between the sexes. Respect is an AWESOME thing in a relationship. Be respectful of him, and he'll be respectful of you.
As for your last paragraph...hopefully the Clever Girl will have known if she was going out on a date with Liberal Man, she will have offered up a change of the TV selection to MSNBC.
Geoffrey B-
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for the reminder- MSNBC will be added to the card the perpetually late girl must have printed up to offer her date in addition to a soothing beverage.
There is not doubt most of this comes down to common sense- but honestly- it seems our need to serve our own needs has supplanted respect for the time and space of others. Criminal and NOT Clever. I honestly would not take a third date from someone who was over ten minutes late each previous time- because chances are, the longer I put up with it, the later he will become.
For example- I have a friend I invited to dinner several times per week. I tell him dinner is at six, when I plan to serve it at seven and he still arrives at seven thirty. I used to wait- and the lack of respect would infuriate me and then I stopped waiting for him. Now, I put a plate aside and if he doesn't show (even more rude), I put it on the front porch as I would for a dog.
Respect indeed- Geoffrey B
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Being on time is a matter of good manners. Nobody should wait for anybody for more than 10 minutes unless something important happened and goes together with a polite phone call.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous-
ReplyDeleteNo doubt- spend some of the time you devote to texting during the day and fire off an apologetic one to your date or friends. Don't make it a habit or you will become known as flakey behind your back. And yes, your friends- even the best ones- talk behind your back.
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i can honestly say that this is one of my biggest pet peeves, My wife & I
ReplyDeletehave a small child & have a very hectic schedule & we both are very
respectful of each others time and this "late all the time thing" is
not expectable and being punctual should cary through your marriage
in all facets.
keep up the great advice.
Anonymous-
ReplyDeleteOoh- the small child thing is huge! Managing a little one is impossible even if you are on top of respecting one another. In addition to the way your marriage has changed post child, the concerns you both have regarding the safety and well being of the child serve to enhance the stress level.
Trying to balance work, home, marriage and baby is challenging not only for a woman but for a man and the two of you together. Do your best to make time and space for each other, not just for yourself. The primary caregiver shouldn't have to ask for a break- if you are truly caring for your spouse, you will recognize then they need help, a break or are at the end of their rope. Don't forget, for the pre-baby portion of your marriage you took care of each other- don't forget to do that moving forward.
You have hit upon a sensitive subject an anonymous emailer asked me to address. Stay tuned for my thoughts on re-establishing intimacy after having a baby.
Keep reading- I appreciate the feedback-
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Clever Girl - I couldn't wait to share this quick story with you. I am notoriously late to everything - especially dates with my man. I love taking my time getting ready, and admittedly enjoy spending more time in front of the mirror primping than is probably healthy. It has been a point of contention for my husband and me, and my response has always been, "beauty takes time" or "Rome wasn't built in a day". The reality is, I was just totally disregarding his efforts to pull together an evening for us, and it would always start the evening off on the wrong foot. When I thought about the opportunity cost of my lack of planning and unnecessary self-pampering, I decided to give him the gift of "the fast-track get ready" a try. Besides, if I need some pampering, I can go to the spa anytime, right? It did require a little effort and some planning and it still took me 35 minutes (not bad considering, historically, it has taken me an hour and a half). The reality is, he is worth the effort and it afforded us more time together. When I walked out in just over thirty minutes looking just as good as if it had taken me an hour and a half, his jaw hit the floor. You would have thought I had walked out in nothing but La Perla or something. The evening started well and ended even better. It's amazing what happens when you initiate an evening with respect and consideration. The content on this site is fantastic! Thanks for the insight. I can't wait for the book! Warm Regards...
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Married Clever Girl-
ReplyDeleteWow- that is fantastic! I know it does require a little planning and forethought- and a little less "me thought", but the results are worth it, don't you think.
It's almost as if you and your husband reached a point where it was a point of great dissension for you both. Now- can you imagine how the evening would have ended if you'd come out of the bathroom five minutes after arriving home from your date sporting nothing but La Perla? He hadn't even uncorked the bottle of wine you'd left chilling before you left and here you are- ready for anything!
Well done. I am delighted with your effort. Clever Girls are purposeful and intentional and they get the results they are seeking because they are CLEVER.
I must hear more from you- I am putting a stoppage on hockey, just for you so I can impart some more "social situations" information which might help you parlay that next outing into something really dynamic with your man!
thank you for your time-
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