Invitation for Disaster

With football season upon us (thank goodness), fall swirling in the air, never is this subject going to be more relevant.

No matter what the event or who is attending, do not invite yourself. It is impolite and will put him in a position where he feels he has to let you come whether he wants you there or not.

Don’t be offended. If you give it some thought, do you want to be somewhere you are not welcome? How well would he be received by your girl friends when you meet up with them for some one-on-one time they are undoubtedly missing? Like it or not, men, as well as women, enjoy their unfettered same sex time. It is sacred.

This is a matter of being considerate all the way around- as well as it is rude to "dump" your girl friends the minute you meet a great new guy, it is rude to barge in on "guy time" unless the pleasure of your company has been specifically requested. Oh, and "I guess you can come ... if you want" is not not so much an invitation as it is a statement said with a simultaneous silent prayer you will take a hint (many men believe women who "like sports" are actually there to spy for the other wives and girlfriends who refuse to give up a Saturday or Sunday to devote to watching a game).

If one of his friends tosses out a casual offer ... "hey, you should come by" and all the color drains from your guy's face- decline gracefully- even if it means you will be on your own- this is a GREAT time to watch "Behind Enemy Lines". Sounds dismal right? WRONG! This action packed adventure features a tousled Owen Wilson at his smartest and most resourceful. Also featured in this move- one of THE ultimate Guy's Guys, Gene Hackman.

If it is too beautiful outside to sit in watching movies, a Clever Girl could head to the nicest car wash in her area and bring a copy of Car and Driver. Sit outside while your car is being maintained and know the guys who are there, don't really like watching football either- but they do like their cars so pay attention to what you are reading. If you see a particularly cute guy, take note of his car and look it up in the back of the magazine where the specs are listed. OR, if you have an iPhone, look up the car and learn as much as you can about it in case he comes anywhere near you after you get "accidental" eye contact. Ask him something about his car. How does he like it? How long has he had it?

I already told you this would not be "painless" and there is no local or general anesthetic (other than alcohol) for the anxiety you are likely to feel prior to engaging a man you've never met. View it as exercising your new skill set and have fun. Don't expect every conversation you have with a man to turn into a date- just enjoy the interaction and know you are becoming more Clever with each exchange.