Because I am the luckiest Clever Girl on Earth- I’m currently having an ice cold Bud Light and fresh lime with my go-to sports guy- Erin Hogan of ESPN Austin. I can’t imagine anything as enthralling as the all-football-almost-all-0f-the-time talk we are going to have for days on end. He and the rest of the guys- Sean Adams, Geoff Ketchum, Chip Brown and Chad Hastings- will be at Dick’s Last Resort in Victory Park from 1-7 p.m. Friday and Dick's will be gameday broadcast headquarters Saturday. Come out and get a load of them. Again, So Very Handsome group of guys- any Clever Girl can find something to gaze upon.
However, do not show up if you have not done some research. So, this is a three-part post and I expect you to put some time into your approach to gameday- and I do mean beyond figuring out what jeans you are going to wear (incidentally, the ones that look best should be on the top of your list).
Top Five Reasons a So Very Clever Guy’s Girl Should Read Bleacher Report
- Because you're lazy if you don’t.
- Oprah is retiring and what the freaking hell else are you going to do during that 40 minutes (in fast forward through commercials) you carved out daily?
- They do the work for you- by researching all available media portals to provide the discerning sports talk junkie with the most up to the minute info a Guy’s Girl could ask for.
- You will likely not survive for one minute in a group of sports minded dudes without at least reading the top two stories delivered to your e-mail (could not be any easier for you) prior to game day. Unless of course you have Erin Hogan as your front man- as I DO.
- I was going to punk out with "It Rules," but Erin insisted we relax a bit and be more Clever. Because it requires so little investment of time to showcase your prowess- why would you not do it? Don’t forget, if you are stumped- say "Wow, I’d never thought of that," or "What do YOU think?" or "You are so Clever." Works every time.
What is higher than one? Like higher than the 4.0 grade point average? Your man will consider your knowledge on par with a nooner. This is the type of thing that happens when E and I share a few beers. So Very Clever commentary – for YOU.
Top Five Reasons Texas is Going to Lose the Red River Shoot-out
- Better more experienced quarterback generally wins. V to OU.
- The Longhorn’s best receivers are a freshman and a sophomore- the freshman is hurt. The rest can’t catch a cold or run junior high passing routes. Perhaps they would do well on Appalachian State or, hell, on University of Michigan the last two years.
- The Texas offense has mastered grab-ass- but that is not as effective as taking anyone to the turf or, hell, even blocking them.
- This team is on par with football turf when it comes to rating their football IQ- it seems team play is not as intuitive as it should be for one of the best recruited teams in the nation.
- Unless there’s been a personnel change- Greg Davis will still be calling the shots.
Now- just so Julie doesn’t quit speaking to me after almost two decades of friendship- I am going to have to challenge all of this with …
Top Five Reason Texas is Going to Win the Red River Shoot-out
- I look better in Burnt Orange than Crimson. Aside from that, I’m pressing E Hogan to be So Very Clever- The Sooners once vaunted D has given up an average of 28 points to the likes of Utah State, Air Force and Cincinnati (are you listening Greg Davis?)
4. The Okies O-line (offensive line) has also attended the grab-ass academy of holding and are drawing some significant penalties. Muschamp's (UT defensive coordinator) front seven (defensive line) will abuse them.
- Under pressure, Landry Jones (Clever Girls- this is the OU man at the helm- and by helm I mean QB) makes coffee nervous and becomes color blind. Honestly- there is no end to E Hogan’s Cleverness.
- The Sooners have their Greg Davis equal in Brent Venebles who has a similar approval ratings in Oklahoma as our Commander in Chief.
- Bob Stoops, once known as "Big Game Bob Stoops" is now "Big Flop Bob" outside Norman. Since being humiliated in the 2004 National Championship game by USC (now, regardless of whether the NCAA strips USC of that title- they still got spanked- and it wasn’t the good kind of ass-slapping) the Sooners are a .500 football team- away from the friendly confines of Norman, Joklahoma. This includes four of five straight drops to Texas.
I’m now relatively sure the amount of s*&^ I'm going to take from Julie is just about what I can stand. I'm going to put up HORNS proudly- I can take a loss as well as the next girl. Hell, I'm a UM fan and I'm from Detroit. It's the hard-knock life for us.
Side note- University of Michigan- D-Rob is clear for play (Denard Robinson) which should make for some riveting play action on Saturday in Bloomington, Ind. I CAN NOT wait. I know, right know, RichRod is counting his freaking blessings for the fact that D-Rob is going to save his head from the guillotine. I was the one in the hood, BTW- I guess I’ll have to WAIT until Jim Harbaugh dares to return to UM.
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