This is how it went down. There were a number of younger kids- between 10 and 15. They were a bit rowdy, so I went to see what was happening in the room where the computer was set up. As I entered the hall, I was pushed by a 12-year-old boy and stumbled backward where only the wall saved me from falling on my ass. He did not break stride and somehow my death stare was unable to penetrate him. No one appeared to notice, so I went into the room, checked the computer- YouTube.com and who knows what WAS on it. I was leaning over the office chair to get a better look when the perpetrator returned- pushed me out of the way and sat in the chair. I turned the chair to face me and looked him square in the eye.
"You've pushed me twice. Don't do it again." He gave me a dead look- clearly nothing going on behind his eyes. Stupidity and apathy is a bad combination. It won't serve him well.
Now- at whom should I really be pissed? His parents. Yes. His parents. Why? Because if he were raised properly, it wouldn't have happened once let alone twice, and when I challenged him- even if he were truly obtuse, he'd have recognized his error and apologized.
What aren't his parents teaching him? Hmmm. You want the whole list or just the top 10? Respect others. Respect your elders. Realize you are a member of a family and your behavior is a reflection on your family- you have a duty and an obligation to conduct yourself with civility and decorum. Women are never to be pushed around- regardless of their age. Be kind to others- even when it is inconvenient. Have compassion for those around you. Be aware of others and how your behavior effects them. Don't be an asshole because you WILL get your attitude adjusted for you and if your lucky it won't be by a GIRL. If you are unlucky (and it's clear you are not Clever)- it will be a girl and she will beat you about the head and neck and roundly humiliate you in front of your peers (and be advised- you will NEVER live that down).
Clever parents realize their children are the next generation of parents and need to be given the tools and wisdom necessary to navigate the perilous journey of life- they do not indulge egregious conduct from their children. How many times do I have to say it: Parent first- be friends later.
This little bastard will go down in the hall of fame of football player rapists- he will smack around his girlfriends- give old ladies the finger- cheat, lie, steal- and his parents will be rescuing him his entire life because it's never HIS FAULT. Wake up before his sociopathic tendencies take hold and you wonder from whence came the 42 bodies buried under your house.
I do want to give a nod to Very Clever man I spent some time with over the weekend. He is one half of a parenting partnership with his fiancee and her daughter. They communicate clearly and honestly about his role in the life of the child and have spent time in advance discussing the potential pitfalls of blending a family. This time gave rise to a post for next week on blended families.
I would add this to what is missing for many children (and adults, for that matter):
ReplyDeleteYour ethics/morals only have merit if you stick to them when no one is watching, and when it is inconvenient to stick to them. I fear that many people have grown up never understanding that it's not just about what you do when you think you might get caught. It's how you behave when you know you will never be caught.
Just lobbing a half-baked thought across the fence at you, but I wonder if the real issue is the parents. More specifically, a trend in parenting where you shield your kids from the real world and attempt to bend reality to their preferences as an overall parenting style. I've seen more of this than I care to think about, and I'm not sure where it comes from. In some cases that I've seen, the parent(s) are so devoid of self that they just NEED TO BE NEEDED. That is the overwhelming drive in their lives. They have no lives of their own, and instead create a relationship with their kids where they are needed constantly. It's selfish and deplorable. The parents don't know what to do with their own empty, miserable lives so they inject themselves into someone else's. Sounds like that might be what's going on here. I've said this before, and I will say it again-- parents, what do you want your children to grow up to be? Well-mannered? Confident? Able to make decisions for themselves? Good at problem solving? This shit doesn't just HAPPEN. You have to decide how you want your kids to be, and then be intentional about creating the experiences for them to get there. What our Clever Mistress said holds true-- the type of parenting she experienced potentially breeds monsters, or at least dundering boobs continually at odds with all that is Clever. It's not too late to fix those kids, but to do it, the parents need to be fixed first.
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