Friday, May 7, 2010

Being Hot is Not a Substitute for Being So Very Clever

Someone finally challenged me on age and looks. I believe the exact statement was "If I looked like you, I wouldn’t have to be Clever." I had already prepared a response to this, so here it goes.

You are wrong. The Clever initiative defies age (one of the few things that accomplishes this feat without costing you an unmitigated fortune or requiring a legion of doctors), looks and weight. I’d like to restate the Clever initiative because you might have jumped in mid-stream. When I started this blog- the intent was to launch the content for my book "The So Very Clever Guide to Being a Guy’s Girl," but it has become a much more comprehensive concept and I attribute that growth to the guidance and interest from my readers. So, thank you.

I’ve learned being Clever isn’t limited to mingling with men- it extends to parenting, social dynamics and being a purposeful and intentional person. However, to address the reader who thought looking like me would "save" her from having to be Clever, looks will take you only so far and for so long. This whole concept was birthed because of my recognition of the superficial and ephemeral nature of "beauty."

It’s happened to all of us at least once. You enter a social situation and there SHE is. Surrounded by men as if she is the winningest coach in NFL history (Don Shula by the way- 347 wins). What is she saying? Why are all these men held rapt? What could be so compelling? And-horror of all horrors-she doesn’t look like Angelina Jolie-but instead EVERYWOMAN USA- with one difference. She has the spotlight. She has options, choices. She will determine who is worthy of a date. She has found a way to shift the balance of power.

No longer shall you be judged or dismissed solely on appearance. When you open your mouth, make it count. What does it matter where you go, after all that research, to meet the right man when you have nothing of interest to say?

So Very Clever encourages women to break old habits, experience and become versed in new and exciting aspects of life. If we can enrich the flavor and texture of who we are, we will become appealing to more palates.

This blog is a broad stroke guide to guns, cars, betting, tools, grilling, audiovisual equipment, cigars, dining in steakhouses, alcohol and, perhaps the most abhorred word in the collective female lexicon, sports. It is designed to empower women by offering enough information to either tempt delving deeper into traditional male arenas or simply to converse confidently with men.

Your ever-growing knowledge base will make you automatically more alluring than the bombshell imparting the details of an argument she had with her mother over her sister’s wedding, because, honestly, if this argument didn’t occur in a Ferrari, during a high-speed chase with the LAPD on the 405 during rush hour, men don’t care.

With men, it is both what you say and how you say it that matters. And I mean ALL men. So, the reason you didn’t receive a call from the guy you seemed to connect with at the last party or weren't invited on that second date you were banking on could simply be that you touched on at least one subject that nearly caused him to slip into a boredom-induced coma. He won’t risk being trapped again.

By more effectively communicating with men, you can alter their objective from scoring to exploring. Men coined "girl talk" to encourage women to speak to just about anyone but them about certain topics. Save the "girl talk" for the girls and, while sipping your next cocktail from a used bedpan may sound more appealing, dive into all things male. You might enjoy it.

Don't get me wrong- I am not giving you permission to be a slob- you should still do your best to look your best- but relying on your looks is simply LAZY. Your "content free" days are OVER. It’s time to yawn, stretch and become So Very Clever.

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