Tone It Down

OK, Clever Tribe- it's pet peeve time. Anyone who knows me knows I have many of them. Here's one. People who are loud. It's not so much that I have sensitive ears- though I do. I am also averse to loud places and loud music (unless I love it) and live music (unless I love it)- it’s really more the fact it's a commentary on who the LOUD person really is.

I find that how loud one laughs or speaks (unless they have a hearing impairment) is in direct proportion to their self-importance. It’s really a simply formula. The louder you speak, the more certain you are everyone else is interested in what you are saying (self-importance). Not just the person to whom you are speaking, but literally everyone- in the room, in the bar, on the plane and my personal favorite- in the elevator.

I find a great deal of time I don’t want to listen to what the person speaking to me is saying, let alone some loud-mouthed dude at the next table prattling on about why he doesn’t consider it “cheating” (we’ve all heard the penetration argument). Further, I rarely find what women speak about when they are together (especially in a group) interesting- so the very last thing I want to hear is five of them speaking over one another- a cacophony of banality and vapidity.

You might be thinking- hmm, she tends to overhear often and comment upon subjects women discuss. TRUE and guess why? They freaking talk too loud. It’s not eavesdropping if you are being pummeled by someone else’s conversation, bitching or complaining.

An obvious extension of my annoyance is the person speaking too loud while they are on their cell phone. First of all, I have no interest in what you are saying- second of all, I am not impressed in the slightest- even if you are name-dropping or know Jerry Jones. Further, in some cases, I honestly believe there is no one on the other end of the line or- if there is-they have slipped into a boredom-induced coma, which is why you feel the need to speak so freaking loud.

Another all-time favorite- and really, it never gets old- the mildly attractive girl who loves to throw her head back and let out a long and offensively loud laugh. It will get attention- you know like the sound of gun fire, watching someone pass out cold or the smell of smoke in a crowded theater. In other words- startled, curious but not intrigued. My favorite part of this scenario is when she looks around to see who is looking. My guess is the only people looking are those who are so bored with the people they're with they are willing to trade down for obnoxious.

If the chick performing this circus act is hot- beware, she probably has a personality disorder and her unending need for attention will swiftly become your problem (are you familiar with the term "hot mess"?) Hot chicks rarely need to solicit attention with a hair toss or laugh that could rival a sonic boom.

The compounding incident here is the group of cackling women in a small space. I get it- girl time, but please realize there are other people in the room who are not interested in what is going on in your group. I'm a big fan of girl time- but when I get together with my girls, I'm there to visit with them not to raise the freaking roof. Don’t get me wrong, it might get a little raucous- it’s been known to happen- but we are not doing it for attention. I’m just asking you be aware and considerate to the other people.

Oh, and it has to be said- everyone recognizes an elevator pitch for what it is.

One last item- if someone does not speak the same language you do, speaking louder does not help them understand what you are saying. Make a note.

I really am not in a bad mood, but heading into the weekend I hope at least those people I encounter will have read this. I’ve got BIG plans for Saturday.

x