Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Older Women Are Hot- It's A Fact

Good afternoon, Clever Tribe. I attended an event last evening and learned something interesting. I thought I would share it with you because it proves a point I made weeks ago.

In discussions of the Cougar concept- again, recall the Urbandictionary.com definition of a Cougar? It was repellant and not at all flattering to women. I challenged the notion of labeling women- it happens too often. For example- former terms of status offered to women have now been derogated. Master and Mistress of the home- mistress is now a negative term used for a woman. Why is there not a name for the “other man?” We have a mistress- the term used to describe the “other woman,” but where is the male label?

Sir and Madam? We still say sir, but now madam is generally a negative word used to label a woman who runs a brothel or even a “ring” of prostitutes or escorts. Hmmm. Weird. We do, in this case, however, have the alternate terms for a man- pimp- but consider the fact the word madam used to be one of prestige and is no longer.

King and Queen is another great example- king still holds power, queen is a slap in the face to a woman and a slur referring to a flamboyant gay man.

The point to all of this is- why is there a negative word used to describe a woman who is attracted to younger men? Further, why in the definition of the label is there another word used that is also negative- prey.

So- GOOD NEWS. I met a very handsome boy of the tender age 30-ish. We got to talking because his hair is absolutely fabulous and so Bradley Cooper. During our discussion- he made an off-hand acknowledgement of a woman’s attractiveness and I was shocked because she was easily 10 years older than he. I laughed and said- you do realize she is my age- right? He confidently and resolutely told me he was totally into older women. Being so very curious as I am- I inquired.

He told me older women are appealing from a sexual standpoint because they don’t have to be led by the hand and taught anything. They generally are more experienced, eager and find him endlessly attractive (hmmm- this is not an unattractive guy in anyway). I am pretty sure most women would find him attractive- so I wondered what an older woman would do or say to make him feel he was more attractive than, say, a younger woman.

It hit me square in the face. Men are tired of pursuing. It is flattering to be pursued and older women are motivated and confident and done playing games. I am oversimplifying and do not mean “all older women” or “all younger women”- but it is true. With some maturity, we generally dispense with game playing and being coy. A woman in her 40s is likely to get to the heart of the matter. She is not looking for a “husband” or someone to father her children- been there, done that and not looking to go back.

It is a simple equation. A sweet spot for men. Hmmm. A sweet spot for women. Fantastic. I want to thank this VERY CLEVER and handsome boy (man) for enlightening me. Now, we still need a label for this curious set of men who enjoy the sweet spot and I say spot because it generally doesn’t last. Why?

Society has conditioned us to believe we date and then meet someone and get married- have a child or two and that is that. Society is being redefined, however, and while it has long been accepted for an older man to “chase” younger women or even “catch” them and marry them- it’s taking a while for a comfort level to be created for women. I'm not sure why- look at Cleopatra? She married a younger man- granted, it was her brother- but it was common in 69 B.C. So why didn't older women with younger men gain in popularity instead of lose appeal? I have some theories, but they might be a bit controversial. Hmmm.

I must say- these young men are So Very Clever indeed and know to avoid the “never married” and childless older woman- because she might have more in mind than fun and casual interaction. They thrive on divorced women with children who are old enough to be self-sufficient. This allows for more regular- uh, interaction, but no overnighters. It’s brilliant- really. So, I would like to officially request this label of Cougar be reworked. What you are really talking about is a wily, artful and Clever woman who knows what she wants, has the confidence to pursue and isn’t afraid to pursue a man. I have an idea- let’s call them- So Very Clever Women, and those cunning young men- So Very Clever Boys. See, there is no reason to be negative. Geez. So much negativity. It’s tiresome- really.

As a matter of fact- I am calling for a moratorium on negativity for the Clever Tribe. No more. Why? Because if the option is to interpret or approach a situation in one of two ways- the outcome of which is related to your approach- why would you pick negative over positive? You get what you give, and if you consistently give negativity, you will consistently get negativity. Change your tack- you are a vessel capable of such.

I have to leave you with a quote from "Arthur" (easily my favorite movie in history). The context is his future father-in-law, Burt Johnson, has just entered his own library. Arthur, who is on his second fifth of scotch asks if he’d like a drink.

“I don’t drink. No one in my family ever drinks. It impairs your judgment.”

Arthur looks confused for a moment and then says, “I don’t know. I can’t decide.”

Is that the funniest thing ever?

OK, enough from me today. I want to offer a heartfelt thanks to that Bradley Cooperesque boy from the party last night- he truly helped redefine the concept for me. Young men are not being “preyed upon”- they are waiting to be pursued. Another thing he alluded to was that So Very Clever Women like to take charge in the bedroom and how refreshing that was to be “wanted” in such a way. Hmmmm. Tres Sexy.

Oh, and if you are looking for some wedding planning tips in between my wedding planning posts, check me out here. This is a great resource whether or not you live in Dallas.

x

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