Monday, April 19, 2010

Do You Have the Power to Alter the Course of Someone's Day?

When was the last time you said- "She’s so negative?" My favorite is when negative people say this about people who may or not be negative. Fact is, we seem obsessed by negativity- it makes our gossipy, morally bankrupt world go round.

It begins tragically young- the rumors, the gossiping, the bullying. Trash talk on the playground escalates in viciousness and the content changes as we grow older. Why are we so anxious to spread bad news? It’s so much more tantalizing than good news, eh?

I want to recognize the man who saved you all from my bitter invective toward bullies and bullying (but it will come soon- freaking HATE bullies). I was all set to unleash, when someone altered the course of my day. This "someone" is doing right instead of wrong, could be the poster child (or GQ cover) for customer service and gentility.

I was, as usual, famished- but decidedly NOT put together- but hey, it had been a very long week and I just needed a bite to eat. I noticed a restaurant I’d never heard of before- and anyone familiar with me knows I am more likely to sip a urine sample from a martini glass than enter a place I’ve never been looking so, uh, rough- but it sounded Italian and I was HUNGRY.

Brio was bursting at each wall and spilling out onto a charming patio. Despite the teeming masses, the architecture was decidedly quaint and lovely. Given the option of dining room or bar (and I should note- the hostess didn’t say- "Just one?"- as if to remind me I was alone- and for good reason- looking like hell)- I selected the bar boasting two different NBA games. I stationed myself facing the game in which I was most interested- Bulls- they were trailing- gasp.

The waitress was perfectly pleasant and not put out I asked for spaghetti with red sauce (which was not on the menu). In my defense, this is one of my comfort meals and I needed some comfort. I asked her to hold the order for a while so I could get some work done and without looking around to see if she had any other open tables for new guests- she agreed.

My wine was cold- the highly herbed crisps were yummy and took the edge off. I had been tempted to order one of 15 fantastic looking rustic Italian dishes- but realllllly needed some comfort- and this is why.

Though I said I’d never watch "Julie and Julia," I did. Well, let me clarify. I was in the hospital visiting and the remote control was broken. So, there I sat, tortured by Meryl Streep’s portrayal of Julia Child and frankly, I have no idea how accurate it was (Was Julia mentally impaired? Or an alcoholic? Seemed like it.) I believe I mentioned before, this movie began as a blog, and if I can reveal something So Very Not Clever, I determined not to see it for two reasons- it looked excruciatingly boring and I was envious of someone who turned a blog about cooking into a movie.

As I anticipated- I broke out into paroxysms of jealousy and covetousness for the one hour it took for maintenance to arrive. The fact is, lately I have been feeling like Julie- the blogger on the movie. She wondered whether anyone was reading what she was writing.

Writers are a strange breed. No doubt, like actors, we need attention- but a different kind of attention. We are not likely to step into the middle of a stage under a spotlight and bask in the adoration of our "fans" and it’s almost entirely unlikely we’d end up in a movie or recognizable even. Fact is, we need to be validated. So, comments here are important to me- even if you HATE me- at least you are reading.

So, back to my sullen mood as I sat in the bar at Brio. I started to feel better as I got organized, planned some posts for the week. I overheard some gushing about the food, which only served to whet my appetite. I lingered over my entrée when it arrived- fantastically fresh- tomato and cracked red pepper over al dente spaghetti. My waitress, Erin, checked on me just the right number of times- making eye contact when possible- inquiring as to my comfort, but not being ubiquitous or obsequious (how often do you see those two words in the same sentence?)

When I asked for the check and began to pack up- a well put together gentleman in chef whites (a near impossibility in an Italian restaurant) approached my table.

"How did you enjoy your meal?"

"It was fantastic. Thank you." I was so shocked, I was lucky to spit this out. You see, customer service doesn’t exist anymore. Tableside visits from management are rare unless you are in an owner-operated restaurant, and I can count on one finger the number of times a chef has come out of the kitchen to thank me for dining. Again, if the chef is the owner- it is not entirely foreign- but he told me there were more than one Brio and his card said executive sous chef- not owner, not principal. It appeared George Spotswood worked at Brio- yet he cared about my experience.

When was the last time someone went out of their way to take care of you?

"Were you able to get some work done here?" he inquired. "You looked very busy."

"Actually, I was. The service was excellent and I was able to sneak a few peeks at the game while I was working."

"Have you been in before?"

"No. I live on the other side of Dallas."

"We have a Brio in Allen as well, you should make it up to that one if it’s closer."

"I absolutely will. Thank you so much for checking on me."

"If there is anything any of us can do for you- please let us know."

He left me there with a confused look on my face. Are we really so abused on a daily basis that someone not only being nice but honestly investing in our care and comfort is so uncommon we are confused?

Yes.

I no longer try to return things I buy in error, because I don’t want to be accused of anything or given the freaking runaround. I don’t ask for my food to be prepared the way I ordered it because I don’t want the negative attitude of my server to ruin the rest of my meal. I drink wine I don’t like, I accept small extra charges on bills because I don’t want to be a hassle or wait on hold for three and a half weeks. I make no attempt to call any number that starts with 1-800 because there is no doubt in my mind my entire day will be derailed by how pissed off I am that the person answering the phone to "service me" can’t speak the same language I do- which is English- by the way.

I overthank people, I let them know I "appreciate" their help and their assistance even though I know I won’t be acknowledged because I’m not going to live down to the behavior of others.

All of that rambling to say- thank you, George Sterling Spotswood at Brio. Fact is, in this climate- there are too many options for service not to be considered important in a dining experience. George earned a patron with a big mouth.

OK- the Stanley Cup is heating up and the NBA finals are in full swing. I want to talk about baseball this week- we need to discuss some terms and stats. Guys love to talk about batting averages and you need to know the difference between a good and a great one so you can identify the dude who is NOT earning his bonus.

I stumbled onto an doctor in New York who is really piquing my interest, so you can count on some parenting tips soon. Her name is Alexandra Barzvi if you want to check her out before I get a chance to introduce you to her work.

Can’t say this enough: E-mail me with wedding planning questions- I want to help you. Click here for articles on the topic and I promise a wedding post for this week.

BTW- MUCH better mood. I get so maudlin when I’m tired and hungry. NOT Clever.

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