In a word- YES.
A good, professional wedding consultant should save you their fee and more in the process of planning and executing your event. How so? A reputable consultant has the Ph.D. you lack in pulling together a wedding- they know all the vendors and their long relationships with them will likely yield monetary consideration to their favorite clients. They have a list longer than Santa’s of ways to save and tricks of the trade. I advise you of one thing in this process- deal only with well-known, highly regarded professionals.
They call it a wedding industry because it is a $19 billion-a-year business. From invitations to gowns to cakes- the industry is thriving. While this is good news for the experienced and educated vendors- that money is blood in the water for unethical, amoral and shady amateurs who prey on those who are looking for a "deal." The market is flooded with such people. Just because they make a camera in a cardboard box doesn't mean photography is easy. Just because you own an oven doesn't mean you can bake a wedding cake. Just because you have nice handwriting doesn't mean you are calligrapher. The stories of couples taken advantage of by unscrupulous purveyors is endless. With a top-notch consultant in your corner- you needn't fear any such disasters.
I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard- “Well, my cousin is going to plan the event.” That bride went down the aisle barefoot because her shoes were lost and 28 guests went without entrees. “My boss', brother’s, best friend is a 'wedding' photographer.” The “photographer” showed up at the wedding with one camera, which was set wrong, and all of the images were so underexposed they could not be salvaged. “We found a guy to do the video for $400- why would I pay someone $4,000?” Because that dude took the deposit and blew off the wedding entirely. “There is a little bakery by my house and they really want to do the cake for me.” This one ended up on the floor (having melted) before the bride and groom could cut it. “We don’t need alcohol- no one in our family drinks.” Well, the guests do and they ended up at the bar watching football during the whole reception then left early to go out. “We booked our own band, they play at the bar down the street.” Guess what? The “band” got a better offer than the handshake deal the groom struck and bailed on the couple three days prior to the event. “Anyone can play music, we don’t need a $3,000 DJ. I found someone for $300.” You can imagine how excited the couple was when the DJ showed up in his Jiffy Lube uniform with an iPod and docking station to play music for 200 people. Oh, and he didn’t have a microphone to announce the couple's entrance, to handle a blessing or to use during toasting. Do you get the picture?
You have a job. It is what you went to school or trained to do- you do it well. What you know very little about is not only how to plan a wedding but how to fit it in with your current career, perhaps children and an all-consuming love. Hand it over to someone who knows the drill and you will breathe and sleep easier.
I’ve had brides forget to plan a rehearsal dinner, end up not having a seat for their mother-in-law at the reception, not comply with church rules on floral and have to disassemble it right before the ceremony, fighting between family, and weddings canceled because of budget issues between the bride and groom (this likely was a good thing). So, your wedding planner will act as go-between for you and family members, your fiancé and your vendors. They will manage your contracts. They will help you to establish a reasonable budget and stick to it, and help you with every single detail along the way.
Because they do this for a living you can count on them being full of unique ideas for floral and design, to know the benefits and proper placement of lighting, the flow of the day, how to navigate high-pressure, emotional situations, and to be your voice on the wedding day. You will need only to figure out how to get from the beginning of the aisle to the end of it.
If there is a way to save money- your consultant will know it. How do you select a consultant? Ask friends whom you trust- if the friend is a nut or somone from whom you wouldn’t take a recommendation for a Chinese restaurant, don’t ask for the name of one of the most important vendors involved in your wedding. Look in magazines, which have to be purchased. Why? Anyone can place a cheap ad in a local rag. Ads in newsstand magazines cost considerably more and some of them require advertisers be established businesses, with a business address, a tax ID number, something to indicate legitimacy. The last thing you want to do is hire some dude who does drywall all week and takes pictures at weddings one day on the weekend.
Interview at least three consultants. In this case, personality is as important as their credentials and references. You need to like this person, as they are likely going to spend more time with you in the next six months to a year than your fiancé. It’s best you trust them and enjoy their company. Further, the better your working relationship is, the harder they will work to save you money- and yes, a gratuity is expected.
Make sure you pick a reasonable pricing structure, as there are many options. Some charge by the hour- not a good idea. You will not believe how quickly you end up racking up a bill for services. Some offer packages from day of coordination (getting you down the aisle) to full event production and design. Speak candidly and openly to your consultant about this. If you are an attorney, work 75 hours a week and have two kids- the chances of you being able to dedicate a reasonable amount of time to the process are slim. Pick a pricing option that takes into account your lack of time. Another popular option is to pay the planner a percentage of the budget. This is a flat fee, so you will know what it is ahead of time. But, you need to know how much of the consultant’s time you are going to get for that fee.
Make sure the consultant you hire is the one who will be working with you throughout the planning, going to meetings with you and attending your wedding. Know whether they will be sending assistants and how many and to what events. Be certain you have a departure time for your planner and what tasks they will be taking care of at the end of the evening- those gifts don’t get to your house magically, the candy bar doesn’t get broken down by itself. The striking of the floral and lighting needs to be coordinated while you are taking a little bathie post-reception, sharing a glass of bubbly and gushing about your perfect day with your husband (HUSBAND!)
It is difficult to not consider a planner an added and unnecessary fee. After all, you are really organized and multi-task well. That isn’t the point. You know NOTHING about planning a wedding. As an attorney, would you take on a murder trial if you had never tried a case? No. Why would you try to plan an event entirely out of the realm of your expertise?
Abhor your soon to be sister-in-law and will strangle her if she considers speaking to you at the wedding? Tell your planner to manage the situation. Your estranged mother grabs the microphone at the rehearsal dinner and starts off like this- “Marriages come and go ... ," your consultant will have that mic out her hand before she can say- “My daughter is a gold digger,” which of course you are not. Forgot your garter? Your consultant will have an assistant on hand to fetch one. Need a few more bottles of champagne for that pre-wedding getting-ready party? You know who to ask. Clever Couples don’t leave anything to chance on one of the most important days of their lives. Why spend all the time and money only to have things fall apart on the big day?
If you want more information regarding the myriad responsibilities of a planner- buy "Donnie Brown Weddings," a fabulous new book on the market, featuring one of my best friends. See his site linked to the right of this post.
OK- tomorrow is the big day for Thanks. If you are heading out to enjoy dinner with friends and family members, please do not forget to pick up a host/ess gift. A simple bottle of wine, a dessert (you can never have too much pie- right?), an appetizer, a loaf of fresh bread. Neiman Marcus has 36 petit fours for $35.00, decorated sugar cookies for $35.00, tins of yummy signature chocolate chip cookies for $12.00, candied popcorn and a host of other fantastic holiday treats. www.neimanmarcus.com
You will not hear from me tomorrow. This Clever Girl will be in the kitchen from sun up to sun down creating comfort foods for some of my very favorite people.
Friday.
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