Once you have produced a ring, acquired the “Yes! Oh, god! Yes!” - tears and all, followed by hours and hours of phone calls to loved ones, you might find the next question to be “When?” Make a mental note now: The questions and the pointless left-hand gestures to show off the ring never end. Oh, and if she isn’t showing off the ring, you stepped in it, so make sure you tell her it’s OK for her to select something more to her liking.
If you are one of the rare men who actually asked a woman to marry him with no intention of moving forward, tap the brakes. Engagement will only stave off the desire for a wedding for so long. We know what you are thinking. “We live together so we are basically married already, right?” No deals, dude. Do not pop the question if you 1) have no intention of moving forward at all or 2) are not prepared to enter into the planning of the wedding. She will view a proposal as implied consent for her to move forward, and consider yourself warned - the speed at which she may do so is not dissimilar to a Ferarri Enzo’s impressive zero to 60.
The date will need to be established before you can go any further with the planning. While she may ask you when you would like to get married, you will be married on a) the date she has been dreaming of since she was 8-years-old, when the breeze is the perfect, temperate 76 degrees or b) the date of one of the countless anniversaries you have failed to commit to memory thus far, the good news being two of those are about to be combined.
Your fantasy date of choice is the one where the Pats won their first Super Bowl under the leadership of Tom Brady. Or your birthday - you have no trouble remembering that. The number one date to avoid is her parents’ anniversary, which would mean you would likely spend anniversaries with them. Now, the rational mind finds this could be a blessing. The elder male will have taken enough abuse over the years to “plan” lovely evenings out and would then be obligated to include you and your wife, relieving you of the pressure to not only remember, but to plan and likely to pay for a celebration of your wedding day. BUT! There is a flip side to every seemingly “perfect” situation. Imagine being compared to her perfect father all night, every anniversary, or being chided for not planning and paying for the celebration for four.
For extra points, suggest the date you met (she will remember right away, don’t worry), or the date of your first date (also catalogued by her), if she is emotionally tied to a certain date, you can hope it falls on anything but a Saturday, which would offer you deep discounts from wedding professionals.
As Saturdays are premium evenings, getting married on a Friday (we can spend the whole weekend with our family members and friends before leaving on our fabulous honeymoon- not hung over) or a Sunday (boring but inexpensive) will be vastly less expensive. Weddings taking place in January and February can likely be planned for markedly less that those in May, June and October.
The important thing to remember here is that you will get married on the day she selects and do so with great enthusiasm.
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