I received a fantastic question from a reader the other day and thought it was a great topic, as marriage has so often been on Clever. She asked what ideas I had for wedding images post divorce. Hmmm.
If you have children, it would be best to package them up for the children to have some day. While they may never remember you being married- it is an important aspect of their becoming. I myself have an image of my parents on their wedding day displayed in my office- though I have no recollection of them being married. It’s nice. Simple as that.
If you have no children and the divorce was acrimonious- I suggest you purchase a Sig Sauer 9mm pistol and find a friend who has a deer lease. You’d be surprised how much anger can be resolved putting bullet holes in things. I’m kidding- kind of. This is still a part of your life, who you are and who you have become- it's not out of the realm you might have fonder memories some day, so I’d hold onto them. You don’t have to look at them ever again, but you might get married again some day, you might have children and if you are honest with them about your previous marriage- they might be curious.
It would be a great way to discuss openly marriage, divorce and how happy you are to have experienced that relationship, as it brought you to their father, a productive family life and to motherhood. I know people who have not talked to their children about their previous marriages until the children found out on their own- generally in the most formative or tumultuous years of their lives. Not a good situation. Honesty is the best policy here.
It would be polite to ask your ex-husband if he or his parents would like them. And be certain to check with your own parents- it’s likely they spent a pretty penny on them. If you find no takers and you don’t feel there will ever be a time when you will be able to stomach viewing them again- toss them.
When I became an adult, I recall asking my mom for images of her and of my dad. I was curious more than anything. There were so few of them separate let alone together. Looking at the wedding photos, seeing them happy and well, blissful, was in some ways confusing. Where had it all gone wrong? This gave rise to questions and questions lead to more questions and two completely different versions of the same marriage. Weird.
I have come to understand marriage, just like any relationship, has two people in it who view the reality of it entirely differently- therefore, the dissolution of such will always be according to each person.
I don’t want to get started on marriage again, not right now, because I feel some observations coming though they have not yet taken shape. So, I will leave you with my suggestions for what to do with the wedding images after divorce.
Clever Tribe, you can count on an NHL post from me this week as well as a post on kettlebells featuring the King of Kettlebells-Ken Blackburn. I plan to spend a fair amount to time luring you into the world of "Sextrology" as well- it really is too compelling to ignore even if you are a circumspective cynic like myself.
I also have some advice to pass on to high school and college students regarding social media and interviewing. I was honored to be part of a "speed networking" panel a few weeks ago. I was one of 10 professionals who got to engage students for three minutes apiece to answer questions about interviewing, the importance of networking, communication skills and even job acquisition strategy. I am not sure who was under fire- them or me.- I think me. Geez, I felt like I needed a nap when I left and I was really uptight about getting a job until I remembered I have one. Whew.
Don't get stressed about that wedding planning stuff. I am here to help. Call me a wedding agent. You can e-mail me- look at the top right corner of the screen for my email. I will steer you to honest, professional wedding professionals in Dallas, New York City, Tampa, Orlando, Chicago and LA. This is simply a gift to you, my readers. Looking forward to guiding you through this terribly overwhelming and amazing time in your lives. You can also find local resources for weddings here.
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