Address the Mess

It’s time for me to address the mess. Several people have asked me the difference between Elin Woods and Sandra Bullock. One word. Actually, it’s two. Or it has a hyphen. Hell, I don’t know, either way- it’s SELF-RESPECT. Elin, regardless of how much she loves or loved her husband- and I’ve said this from the beginning- needed to leave him. She can hide behind staying with him for "her children," but what really is she demonstrating to them? To her daughter- once you are married you will endure any abuse at the hands of your husband, be it emotional, psychological or physical? To her son- you needn’t be a good husband, hell, your father wasn’t, but your wife will stay with you so do what you will. Hmm ... When we say we are staying together for our kids- what does that mean?

I have a friend whose husband is immensely abusive psychologically, emotionally and verbally- yet, she doesn’t think it’s right to leave him because they have a child together. They are not physically intimate and have not been in four years. They have an acrimonious relationship and no friendship at all- he’s destroyed it. Now, how long before the tension in the home turns into an anxiety disorder for the child? At what age will she notice her parents' relationship and begin to form the idea of marriage as a sterile, loveless and often times abusive union? When will the father finally turn on his daughter and start handing out doses of abuse to his daughter- altering her forever? When will ENOUGH be ENOUGH for my friend?

Sandra Bullock, as of last night, is filing for divorce. DUH. As I said with Tiger- it isn’t the indiscretion that is unforgivable- it’s the cast of characters. Now, as with Tiger, this is not a case of a man or woman stumbling upon the love of their lives while married to someone else- this is a matter of a guy wanting to get into the gutter and stay there. Once an uneducated, tattooed, reality star bad boy who likes to have sex with and marry tattooed, mentally unstable strippers and porn stars, always an uneducated, tattooed, reality star bad boy who likes to have sex with and marry tattooed, mentally unstable strippers and porn stars.

Where did it go wrong for Sandra and JJ? The day they met. I have a theory or two. Sandra was coming off a rather harrowing stalking incident with a mentally unstable man from Michigan- she was shaken by it. Perhaps, for the first time in her career, she felt vulnerable. When she met big bad Jesse James, she felt safe and loved. Now, what could he have found appealing about Sandra? There is the obvious- beautiful, hilarious, talented, humble, America’s sweetheart, successful … but in the past, none of these aspects of a woman were appealing to him ,so why her? I have a feeling she is a bit infectious and he became smitten- which is fine- but over time, I think he began to feel overshadowed by her fame- him being a big reality TV star and all.

Perhaps he didn’t like being married to such a strong and confident, mentally well woman who was far more successful than 90 percent of men on earth. Why did he have to marry her? Did he just want a strong woman to help raise his children? What a horrible position Sandra has now been put in. She has been in the youngest boy’s life since soon after he was born and from all accounts is very attached. Yet how is she to maintain a relationship with the children independent of their father?

As So Very Clever Julie said last night- "This is his biggest f*&^ up- and that is likely saying A LOT!" She’s right. This dude reads like a laundry list of bad decisions- a life ime of debauchery and indulgence. Why did she think this would change?

Fact of the matter is this- she chose poorly. The writing was, well, all over his body (and there are rumors of him having White Power-style ink on him.) She is, according to everyone who has met her, a fantastic woman. Why, oh, why- Jesse James? Will women ever get over the bad boy thing? Here’s a clue- have fun with them but do not MARRY them- and do not have children with them. Bad boys are called BAD and BOY for a reason. They have a reputation for doing bad things and they are BOYS- not MEN.

My feelings on Elin? Again? She likes being Mrs. Tiger Woods more than she has respect for herself or her children. I still am not saying Tiger is a bad person- he’s done a lot of good things for a great number of people- but as a woman, she needed to leave him. I felt the same way about Hillary Clinton- what a fine example she’s set for women. Stay with the bastard if he is a means to your end. Opportunist? No one on the face of the earth can convince me she stayed with him for LOVE. He was going to be governor, then he was governor, then he was going to be president, then he was president, now he’s a philanthropist and is doing so much for so many (which is true) … how well staying with Bill Clinton has served her own political agenda .. And please, do not send me a bunch of e-mails defending Bill or Hillary Clinton- this is not a political statement- it’s a matter of FACT.

If she is going to hold herself up as a model "feminist," a woman of substance and action, she needed to tell him to pound sand up his a#@! Again, cast of characters. Bill didn’t fall in love with another woman- he wanted to get down IN IT with some lowly women who would make him feel like a BIG MAN. After all, it is a bitch being married to a beautiful (and I’m not talking about Hillary Clinton), brilliant, talented, successful, artistic, charismatic woman. Better to hang with uneducated strippers and porn stars, socialites and mindless wonders.

OK, that is that. Go Sandra. Run. Far and fast. Honestly, hire some security to keep your stalkers at bay and next time look for a guy who doesn’t have a penchant for the mentally infirm.

It’s Wednesday, and the games begin on Saturday for the NCAA Final Four- should be awesome!

As far as the NHL? Most teams have six or seven games left, but it is TIGHT- this is getting gritty!! The race is ON like the crack of dawn. Playoff hockey is totally different from regular season. I’ll tell you why when it’s time.