I cannot miss an opportunity to practice my Clever skills. Last night I was in Austin at a lovely restaurant called Eddie V’s. The place was teaming with men- MY FAVORITE. Stools at the bar were sparse and I was lucky enough to get one. There was a date next to me- married man with a random female- NOT his wife. She was thoroughly annoying to me, so I can not imagine how bored he was. She spoke incessantly about all the famous people she knows and how invaluable her friendship is to them. I couldn’t help watching his interest fade- the risk-reward assessment was actively leaning toward NOT worth it. His attention waned and finally settled on the TV. The fact he was now watching Olympic women’s hockey was a testament to how bored he was with her. As I could have predicted, she needed no audience to continue her prattling on about how freaking fantastic she is.
On the other side- same scenario- married dude with much younger chick. I say chick because there really was no other word. She had her laptop open in a very crowded and dim bar to showcase some photos she’d had taken of herself. He was an obvious intellectual and never stopped trying to engage her in some type of conversation. Sadly, she was focused on herself. I did get to see some swimsuit shots and, frankly, she should have invested some time into that conversation. Not Clever. If you are so not interesting you have to lug about photos of yourself to prove how appealing you are ..
Luckily, they left because this married guy had realized THIS date was not worth the risk or the expense of dinner. I heard him tell her he needed to run, sorry- he’d make it up to her. I guess he didn’t want to watch women’s hockey (I cannot believe the U.S. dropped the gold to Canada- couldn’t help noticing every one of the U.S. girls were crying like, well, girls. It made me wonder if that would be deemed OK- where it was totally unacceptable for Tim Tebow to cry on the sidelines- hmmm).
So, as soon as the photo-toting female and her date left- two gentlemen settled in. Whew. They were engaged in light conversation with one another. I kept one ear to them. If we ended up speaking later, I’d know some areas of interest for them. (This is being Clever).
When I decided I’d heard enough and was ready to engage- I crossed my legs and "accidentally" kicked the gentleman next to me. I placed a hand delicately on his arm and apologized sincerely. It didn’t take long before conversation was on the rise. They were charming and respectful- we talked about kids and wives and sports and guns, the military, live music and Austin. When they left, I felt my Clever skills had been given a workout and I’d passed muster.
It really is that easy. Oh, and I did have a Very Clever Guy named Ron tell me that women who drink regular Budweiser are hot. Hmmm- for how long? There are tons of calories. The point to this is- a Clever Girl can think on her feet. If I were in a bar and saw Ron standing alone or with friends (he is unmarried) and I wanted to speak with him, I’d observe he was drinking a Budweiser and give it a shot. Oftentimes just breaking the mold will get you some attention. Clever Girls don’t have to be overt- they simply have to be intentional!
So, thank you, Darren and Brian from last evening. You give great conversation!
OK, for real, I am working and you are NOT going to hear from me until Monday. I can pretty much guarantee I will have a lot of stories about women who are NOT Clever and what we can learn from them.
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