It probably wouldn’t be right if my 100th post was simply a recipe, so I'm going to address something I’ve been thinking about. I’ve always heard people say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I always thought it meant because it was so much work.
Having talked with a Very Clever friend (we will call him Jason) recently who does mission work in third world countries- it finally made sense. He was telling me how he recruits big companies to lend support and is happy when the executives actually want to come on the trips and get their hands dirty instead of just writing a check. Jason said it was the same scenario each time- powerful executive whose relatively out of touch with how bad the conditions are outside his/her own bubble- excited to “make a difference” in the lives of others. Every single time, Jason says, the executive is the one whose life is forever changed- always for the better.
He doesn’t counsel or prepare people going in, because each person will take from the experience what is personal and to brace them in any way would and could diminish the impact.
Jason told me stories about arriving in villages where entire families lived in what could only be called “lean tos”- I think they are called that because the housing is make shift and leans to the right or left? Someone correct me if I am wrong (yes, I am wrong and I do apologize). What surprised him the most the first mission trip was the fact the people were happy (not our version of happy. Happy to be alive). Deeply rooted in family and community- they had made sense of the world around them and live rich lives despite the fact they rarely have the lowest rung of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs met. Food, water and shelter are scarce- but they have air and use it. How different would our attitudes be if we were simply happy to be alive. If we viewed this as the gift it is? The tenuous, precious and ephemeral gift it truly is.
I visualized this- children out playing and women gathering to wash and look after the little ones, men seeking food and fraternizing. The sense of community- of caring for one another was vivid for me even here in the land of plenty. So, the village is not in place to “help” manage the child or children- the village is a place of love and support- so the children are surrounded by affection and kindness and caring.
No other nation encourages such distance among family members- proximally or emotionally. We think it’s wrong to let our children share our bed- I over heard a man ask another man, “What does that do to your sex life?”- I started to laugh and he asked me why- I said, “Maybe he needs to get more creative.” My sister-in-law told me the time her children spend in her bed is her real time nostalgia. It was a lovely image to me- enjoying that snuggle time when my niece had a nightmare or my nephew was unwell. I could imagine her wanting to stay awake just to be aware of those moments.
Do we need to be entirely autonomous to learn to function or prosper? What is your version of being prosperous? Prosperity is wealth AND success. So, are you successful if you have attained wealth and have no significant relationships? Where did you learn relationships were expendable?
I had the opportunity to attend a rehearsal dinner over the weekend and was awestruck by the free flowing affection both families demonstrated. It was stunning for a twenty five year old man to get up in front of one hundred people (fifty of which he barely knew) and tell everyone what an amazing woman his sister was- how much he loved her and what a thoroughly beautiful woman she was. How anxious he was for her to have children so the world could welcome more children as graceful and lovely as she. Honestly. The mother of the groom recorded a song she wrote for her “precious son” and unabashedly shared it with a room full of strangers. The groom shed tears as he toasted the “crown of creation”, the woman who had changed his life.
I am struck by how few people are emotionally literate. As parents- it would seem if there were ever a time for you to show fathomless love it would be for your children- and children learn by watching you. Perhaps if they were shrouded in love- they would extend that shameless love to their siblings and grow up counting them among their closest friends. Perhaps we could create small villages, and then tribes when we welcome our friends into the villages.
Oh my gosh, is that sappy or what? This is one good reason for me not to go to weddings- I am intrigued by families.
Cincinnati Chili (Greek Spaghetti)
Ok, this recipe has a lot of ingredients but is so easy you won’t believe it. I recommend getting all your seasonings and ingredients out first- this cuts down on confusion later.
What you need
1 QT of cold water in a large soup pot
2 lbs of ground beef- very lean
2 6 oz cans of tomato paste (no spices in it)
½ tsp of all spice
½ tsp of cayenne pepper
3 cloves of garlic minced
3 tbs chili powder
2 tbs cider vinegar
1 lg bay leaf
5 whole cloves
2 tsp worchestire sauce
½ oz of bitter chocolate
1 ½ tsp salt
3 tsp cinnamon
2 medium onions virtually liquefied in a food processor
1 medium onion chopped
Fine grated cheddar cheese
Red kidney beans rinsed and drained
Spaghetti noodles
Place the ground beef in the soup pot with the water and let it separate. It should have no chunks- smooth and totally gross looking.
Combine all dry ingredients in a small bowl (except cheese, chopped onions and kidney beans and spaghetti). Combine all liquid ingredients in another small bowl (except cheese, chopped onions and kidney beans and spaghetti).
Once the ground beef is totally separated boil it for thirty minutes to reduce the water. Add all other ingredients except cheese, chopped onions and kidney beans and spaghetti. Stir until it boils. Simmer for three to four hours.
Prepare spaghetti as directed. On a plate place spaghetti and add chili (one-way), add cheese (two-way) add onions (four-way) add kidney beans (five-way). I like the onions crisp and my cheese melty- so I prepare a five way without the onion- microwave it until the cheese is melty and then add the onion on top right before serving.
This is a fantastic game day meal. Easy to prepare in advance and inexpensive for a large group. Hearty and satisfying. Do not call it chili- in Texas, no one will eat it because it doesn’t make sense. Call it Greek Spaghetti since it is a greek recipe and it’s served over pasta.
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