Fanged Seduction

It seems few days go by when a Clever Guy doesn’t ask me about the freaking allure of the "Twilight" series of books and movies. An excellent question, one I’d like to address here, as the third movie in the smash concept by Stephenie Meyer is already setting records.

I think my friend Jessica said it best after seeing the first movie, "Twlight." I asked her how it was and she said, "I gotta get me one of them vampires." I literally burst out laughing because it was quintessential Jessica and, having read the book, I understood the draw.

What is the big whoop? Mmm. Vampires have long held us rapt (whether with fear or intrigue), but Meyer vampires aren’t the terrifying creatures hovering at your bedroom window, scratching at the glass like on "Salem’s Lot," nor are they the quasi-sexy Anne Rice vampires. This is a whole new breed of fanged seduction.

Stephenie Meyer has So Very Cleverly transcended the teen and tween audience by tapping into a woman’s base desire to be pursued, captivated, protected and lusted for, her own life being of more value to a man than his own. This harkens us back to the gallantry and chivalry of days past. Think of the "romantic tragedies" that have endured- "Romeo and Juliet," "Wuthering Heights," "Gone With the Wind," most of the books written by Nicholas Sparks, "The English Patient" … you get the idea. Proof positive audiences love a good cry (I, however, do NOT. I’m actually almost opposed to such blatant sentimentality as employed by Mr. Sparks). What audiences love more is a SEXY romantic tragedy with the promise of a "happy" ending after 10, 600-page books and 10 movies.

These books are the modern/ tween bodice ripper. Our heroine is the object of the love and affection of two men- willing to fight to the death over her. By selecting a run-of-the-mill looking actress- the concept further pierces the heart of every woman by having such a flawless and beautiful man loving her for WHO she is- not WHAT she looks like. Isn’t that every woman’s dream? To be coveted. Possessed. Consumed. Battled over.

Also ingrained in our understanding of these "creatures" is the pendulous concept of agony and ecstasy. That in having our flesh punctured, our life’s essence devoured to nourish another, we experience inexorable rapture and ultimately immortality.

Is this series recommended for tweens and young women under 17? Debatable. The least harmless aspect of this storyline is the unreasonable expectations created for teens with regard to their "romantic" relationships. Such intensity is not likely at the age of 16 and with good reason- we haven’t the emotional maturity to process such.

Imagine your 12-year-old girl telling you she is "in love" with someone and she will "die" without them. A bit disturbing. Now, at that age, some young children have a difficult time distinguishing between fantasy and reality- they may not embrace the fact this is a "fictional" scenario- a love triangle between a werewolf, a vampire and a mortal young woman.

In book two, the main character, Bella lies catatonic in bed for months after being "abandoned" by the love of her life (at 16), Edward. After finally "coming out of it"- she is plagued by thoughts of near suicide and actually "cliff dives" and Edward’s sister, Alice, "sees" her falling, assumes she has killed herself and notifies Edward of Bella’s death. He then pulls a Romeo and asks the ruling vampires to kill him (more or less). Then the race to Italy is on- Alice and Bella must stop Edward from committing suicide.

Is this something I want my young daughter to internalize? If your boyfriend breaks up with you- have a break with reality and then speak of nothing but your willingness to die over it. After all, there is NOTHING else on earth driving you other than your love for he who is lost. BARF.

So, in evidencing this fantastically intense "love" between Edward and Bella- what girl could settle for anything less than a boy/man willing to die for her? A boy/man whose entire identity and existence is wrapped up in her protection, saving her soul and his possession of her? This places MORE unrealistic expectations on relationships.

Even more confusing for the younger viewer/reader is the fact the vampires never "change"- they have red eyes and occasionally fangs, but they still look human, so the "love" seems all the more real. Thereby, the children can’t say- well, that type of love doesn’t exist between mortals or "humans."

What are the implications of this phenomenon? Unrest? Relationally? Clever Girls- have you ever met a man as intense as Edward Cullen? Don’t lie. OK, the answer is NO. Do you wish you had? Don’t lie. OK, the answer is, YES. Why? Stephenie Meyer has tapped into some innate (unlikely) or societally imposed longings (more likely). She has So Very Cleverly stoked the dying embers of the hold Disney once had on us when we were tweens. Was it Hollywood who introduced the romantic notion of marriage? I’m still trying to find out when marriage stopped being an "arrangement" and an "institution" and became the "ideal" relationship.

I guess that’s a post for another time after a ton more research- but if you think our generation has "unrealistic expectations" of male-female relationships, especially the covenant ones, wait until the Meyer generation grows up. WHOA.

The good news is, it’s officially football season, so, So Very Clever Girls, it is time for me to start prepping you for the next seven months of your life if you are surrounded by football lovers. If you are lucky- your men like college football. As I’ve said too often before- I have little use for professional athletics. Except hockey, of course.