The Deepest Recesses of HELL are too Pleasant

OK, now I am pissed. I know I talk about judgment and the evils of it- but there is one caveat, if you will recall: Anyone who hurts a child intentionally.

I heard a story today on the news about (and yes, I could get this pissed off every day watching the news) a 16-year-old girl who perpetrated graphic sexual abuse on a young boy while he was in her care.

Now, while the storyline is one we’ve heard often, it is rare the perpetrator is a girl. Girls are changing, people- WAKE UP!

How many times have we heard the charming little vignette about a young boy losing his virginity to the "hot" babysitter. High fives all around- smirks, winks- way to score!

Well, guess what- that is a FELONY. It is a FELONY for a reason- because children do not have the emotional maturity to make rational decisions about sexual conduct.

I’ve heard this argument before- "Go back 100 years and 13-year-olds were picking out baby furniture and planning weddings." Well, are you ready for my response? That was because the f-ing life expectancy was 23. When the freaking hell else were they supposed to do these things? How else would the population have survived?

The point is- now that we live until potentially 100- there is no reason for our children to be sexualized so rapidly. I know I have hammered this point home a couple of times before- but let me go ahead haul it out for another go around.

Girls are changing. The lack of morality and conscience in media is a good place to start, but the onus really lies on parents.

This young lady in question HAD to have been abused at some point- the boy had only been in her care for a short time and it became intense quickly- she didn’t take the time you’d think it would take to manipulate a little boy into doing some of the things she asked of him, insisted of him and did TO him. So, she has been abused and she has likely abused before.

HOW does this happen?

Let’s trace it. We have tiny little children- our only jobs as a parent are to love, nourish and keep our child safe. This would seemingly prevent us from leaving our child in the care of someone who was unfit. I understand, pedophiles are So Very Clever in their manipulation of friends, family members and children- however, you have got to put in place safeguards. You must have candid and likely AWKWARD conversations with your children about their private parts and who is allowed to help them wipe, bathe and change clothing. They must feel confident coming to you when they feel uncomfortable or suspicious about someone. Explain you are always there for them to talk to and if they are not feeling like they can, have other adults in place they can go to for guidance- a close family friend or neighbor- even a favorite teacher.

Pedophiles prey on a child’s fear of getting in trouble or someone hurting them or their parents. It is critical your children know it is YOUR job to protect them, NOT the other way around. They need to BELIEVE you will be safe and they are not to suffer ANY abuse to protect you.

Now- the next problem I have is the selfish and naïve mother who allows her children to be exposed to men who either have a record of abusing children or are under suspicion of abusing anyone, and fail to check in with their children regularly about their physical and emotional safety.

Beyond this- the media must take their share of blame- SEX is EVERYWHERE and it is poorly monitored. Parents can wear themselves out trying to shield their children from the far too mature messages that bombard them- but it’s almost futile. More than the simple messages- the concepts are out there. In Flint, third-grade boy was expelled for "running a ring" of second-grade girls. Are you f-ing kidding me? Guess what’s going on at home? Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

Now- we’ve long attributed sexual abuse to and pedophilia to men. They tend to be the larger group of offenders so when we hear a story about a woman- it gets our attention- but a GIRL? And this was not a case of the "hot" 17-year-old babysitter deflowering the 14-year-old boy. What this girl did to this 7-year-old child is heinous.

Girls are changing- they are overly sexualized, have harnessed their sexual power, and are willing, able and determined to use it. I heard recently of a young girl who has now accused four different people of sexually abusing her- hmmm. Since no charges have been filed, it would seem she is crying out for "help" when she doesn’t get what she wants and failing to acknowledge the consequences of her actions. The consequences of being called out as a sex offender will never abate. The mark is indelible and tends not to fade even if proven innocent. There is always that shadow of doubt among family members, friends, spouses and the community.

There are a variety of mental disorders that involve a sexual or violent component. I was just told of an episode of Oprah- featuring a family of four. Mom, dad, 7-hear-old daughter and 4-year-old son. The girl is the youngest person ever to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. One of her "voices" tells her to hurt and abuse her little brother. These parents are accepting of the risk and have now taken two apartments- one child lives in each and the parents switch off. This is SCARY- but I applaud the parents for taking drastic measures to protect their son.

Borderline personality disorder affects 75% women (usually victims of long-term emotional, physical or sexual abuse) and a large percentage of this number act out in a sexual context. They lie and they distort the truth to fit their interests- the primary of which is to generate chaos. The important thing here is NOT to be naive as a parent. Listen to teachers, friends, family members- those around you. If they are telling you things about your child that seem unusual- have the child evaluated by a professional. Children kill people all of the time and it doesn't have to happen as often. Let's not assume anything- people can get hurt.

I know not what drove a 16-year-old girl to brutalize a child- but it is time for us to STOP with the kid gloves. If someone confesses to abusing a child for any reason (perpetuation of abuse)- they die. No trial. No sob story. For some children, this is the only way they can heal- to know they will never again face the perpetrator of violence- sexual or otherwise.

I am not interested in debating this. My blog. My opinion. Don’t e-mail me with your tirade. Get your OWN blog to talk about the implications of "killing" a human- because guess what? Anyone who hurts a child is NOT human.

Coming up tomorrow- catch up with me. My gosh, my apologies for my absence. I have been So Very overwhelmed with "Consumed." In the meantime- check out the bad ass author website for Alisa and I- www.lidestrigriffin.com. Countdown to stroking some autographs is four months. NOT bad.