What You Got Under There?

I was asked by a gentleman who is So Very Clever to comment on what currently is being called the "maxi-dress"- we’ve all seen or worn them. The long, often shapeless dresses- either with straps or without. This particular fashion AND figure conscious guy asked me to tell you ladies that nine of 10 dudes are saying, "Thanks for the look at your breasts but despite that, all we can think about is what you are hiding under there."

I burst out laughing when he said this because it makes sense.

Here’s a tip for wearing these fabulously comfortable and often quite stylish little numbers. If you are heading out socially- do not wear one. These should be reserved for women in relationships- when your guy already knows what lies beneath it can be very provocative for him to be denied a glance at your gorgeous legs, your perfect ass or even that fantastically flat abdomen. Always appreciated will be the generous cleavage most of them showcase.

This fear is extended to the "baby doll" top. While designed to offer some tantalizing glances at your breasts, men fear the muffin top underneath. So, when you head out on a first date, a blind date, to a game with friends or any social occasion- chose your attire wisely. Put your best features on the marquee.

"We will go to great lengths to determine what you’re hiding- including the hand on the waist to let you know we’re passing by. This gives us an idea of the expanse and firmess of the region," he tells me matter of factly and I know he’s not kidding. “Special attention will be paid when the legs are crossed as to the size of the leg on top as the material stretches tight." Geez.

We are SOOOO Very objectified. Before we become offended by this- realize we, as women, have not only asked for it by following trends and the advice of "supposed" experts, we use our feminine wiles- though we pretend we don’t- so let’s not judge too harshly the men who are trying to peek.

As I sit and gaze across the lake in my muumuu, I’m reminded it is Friday, and I’m hoping most of you have full weekends planned with family members and friends. To help you provide sustenance to those you love- I decided to share my chicken salad recipe. It’s very healthy, so don’t worry about being able to fit into those slim fit jeans and t-shirt you are wearing to the cook-out this weekend.

What you need

Boneless, skinless chicken breast (which you will either grill or pan fry)

Red or green grapes

Fresh pineapple

Red onion

Celery

Reduced-fat mayonnaise

Salt, pepper and garlic powder

Splenda packet (optional)

Earth Grains- slim buns

How you prepare

Salt, pepper and garlic the chicken breast. If you are grilling it- trim fat. Once it is grilled to perfection- 170 degrees minimum at it’s core- shred or dice, depending on your preference.

If you are pan frying, I find it easier to dice small after seasoning- cooking, cooling and shredding or leaving diced.

In a large bowl- add to taste- chopped celery, grapes, pineapple and red onion. Add chicken and then mayonnaise to create a comfortable consistency. Some people prefer dry- some prefer very mayonnaisy. I am somewhere in the middle.

You can eat this immediately or refrigerate for later. I love to snack on it with Triscuits, or for those of you who are watching the carbohydrate intake, alone on a bed of lettuce or in romaine leaves.

Add the Splenda if you'd like a touch more sweetner.

I have some observations fulminating in my mind, so count on some new material in the week to come.